STRUGGLE

im struggling.. iwas thinking a few hours ago about what topic t write about. i wanted to write about some funny stuff or something that will reflect how happy i am in my new job........but guess what something more serious is inside my head..i am struggling

a couple of months ago i was my "best self" everythin is under control. i was waking up early, geting at work 30 minutes earlier, doin overtyms, bringing home some manuals to study, prayin before sleeping, gettin 7hours sleep, waking up early..prayin before leavin..and again arriving early in my office. ..until i got very comfortable...

no more threats of arriving at the end of the month without salary, no more worries of learning the new stuff at work as they have transfered me to the structural team. I was back with autocad which i am very familiar with, and i was doin a job i know i can handle very well...then my boss decided to confirm my employment only a month after my commencement and give me salary increase..this is when i got very comfortable. i was sure i was reapin what i have sown so i let my guard down and start wakin up a lil later than usual..then i was arrivin at work just on time..then after a few days i was arrivin just a lil after nine..then 15 minutes after nine... and i am already finding it hard to wake up at 6sharp and arrive early n the office. i also realized i am not that organized anymore. i scared that i am screwing up whatever i have started.. i want to do wel in the office because im interested with what im doin.this is the job i have always wanted-a job that will enable me to understand engineering and construction. I dont want to screw things up and now im struggling to get back on track.. im tryin my best to slowly get back to my old routine and i hope its not too late to get back lest my boss may think he made a bad choice removing my probationary status to early..